Why setting boundaries is the key to strategic thinking
The irony is not lost on me that of all my blog posts that I wanted to write this month the one about boundaries keeps falling to the bottom of my to-do list because….. I keep allowing things to creep into my writing time and my writing time because I see it as ‘me-time’ keeps getting deprioritised (by me!)
I’m still very much a work in progress around my own boundaries and I try not to be too harsh on myself, but when I don’t set a clear boundary to write – it just doesn’t happen!
I know writing is also my access point to deeper more strategic thinking and my space to connect the dots AND even though I love it, I never make as much time for it as I would like.
Am I alone here about making time to thing and be versus do? No I don’t think so!!!
When I’m coaching 1:1 or facilitating sessions with leaders, one of the things I hear pretty much all of them say, especially at the moment is…. I don’t have any time! I’m always in meetings! If only I could stop doing, meeting and find some space I know I could be more strategic.
When I’m working with HR /Talent teams and Senior Leaders to design team events or programmes for their leaders the one request they always have is -we need our leaders to be more strategic and critical thinkers
Everyone wants this capability of being more strategic to be developed either in themselves or in their teams, but no one wants to make the time and space for it, so what’s getting in the way?
My sense is it's our ability to say no to the tasks, the to-do list, the meetings, the ‘doing’ and the action that gets in the way of our ability to say yes to the space and ‘being’ that strategic thinking requires.
You can’t think strategically and deeply 5 mins in between meetings or in a half day off site it just doesn’t work like that
You have to be intentional about setting some quiet, private and maybe together deep-thinking time that requires boundaries and saying no to other things
You also have to give yourself time and permission to do this and value it as equally if not more important to the ‘doing’ / ‘action’ oriented tasks
So why is it so hard for us to set boundaries to do deep work and what even are boundaries?
At their core, boundaries are all about who we give power to. They force us to analyze why we may not be giving ourselves permission to work and live in the way that we feel is best for our well-being. If we’re not deciding our lives, schedules, and workloads, who is? Boundaries allow us to decide when, how, and if we give this power away - Joe Sanok – Author of Thursday is the New Friday
Look at all the trends and media conversations around The Great Resignation and Quiet Quitting.
This is many employees attempt to re-set their boundaries, saying no to over work, and saying no to having no time and saying yes to peace, purpose and more meaning in their lives.
Maybe setting stronger boundaries helps us stay engaged and not build up resentment. Asking for what we want can be hard, but not asking or resetting boundaries – we can guarantee we probably are not getting much of what we want.
So how do we define set some boundaries without being too rigid?
Hint – often we have to go in hard with some boundaries to test them out with ourselves and whether they feel comfortable to us. If you have no boundaries then even setting some is going to feel big for you
Here are some examples of reflective questions I ask leaders to help them define their boundaries and create more space to think…
How many pauses, breaks and lunchtimes are you taking? - Look through your diary over the past month and see what time you are starting and ending your days, whether you are having breaks between meetings and time for lunch (often the answer to this question is no breaks and ‘on’ 12 hours + per day)
How do you build thinking and strategic time into your working week? - When was the last time you blocked out your calendar for 3-4 hours just to think, reflect, strategise by yourself? (Often the answer is never or rarely or this is something people assume is weekend / personal time activity)
What are your absolute non-negotiables? - For example, you want to have dinner with your family 1 or 2 nights per week or you don’t want to be on evening calls past 9pm or you don’t mind evening calls up to 10pm but you won’t take calls on a Friday evening. Everyone’s non-negotiables are different but equally valid. (Often the answer here, is I have never thought about my non-negotiables – I must always be available)
How supportive are your friends and family of you resetting your boundaries? - Sometimes family members get the consequences of our lack of boundaries more than our work colleagues. Sometimes we need reset boundaries with our families to create space for ourselves
How supportive are your colleagues?- How supportive are your co-workers, boss, direct reports of your resetting your boundaries? (Often I hear line managers saying to their direct reports that they want them to work less, so often times there is permission to reset boundaries but we don’t always take it)
Essentialism - Greg McKeown
Saying yes to any opportunity by definition requires, saying no to several others.
Say yes to the essential things first and you will push out the nonessential activities.
Essentialism isn't about saying no per se. It's about saying yes to what matters most
The more senior we become, the more strategic thinking is what we get paid for.
It’s our being, not our doing that has the biggest impact, our ability to wrestle with more and more complex questions and situations, that requires slowing down and creating more time for ourselves to hear ourselves think.
Love to hear how you get on with some of the reflection questions
Often we find once we have gone through that audit that there are often small tangible things that we can do to re-set some boundaries which hopefully make more time and space for you to have even bigger impact
Carla x
Resources to support you
Please click here for more resources on Setting and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries and let me know if you have any more to add!
